I found this information by looking at a blog…I then realized that today is the anniversary of Trooper and my loss 3 years ago. Crazy that it is the same day. Trooper came home from Iraq for 2 weeks. About a week after he left, I found out I was pregnant. We wanted to get pregnant, so we were both very excited. I saw the doctor on the 13th of October. He said everything looked good. I had blood work done and scheduled my 1st sonogram for the following week.
The next day, I told people at work I was pregnant at lunch. Just after eating, I went to the restroom before class started back. I started spotting. After school, I went to pick up Parker from daycare (11 months old at the time). I had called the doctor's office and he could not see me because he did surgery on Fridays. They told me to go to the ER. So Parker and I did.
My best friend was out of town, others were in school still at 2:30, and another had given birth to her twins the day before. I called my sweet and wonderful friend Amy to come help me. She was on the last few days of her maternity leave. She met me up at the hospital to help look after Parker while I had a sonogram done. After blood work came back, I was sent home. They did not know if I was losing the baby or not just yet. Only time would tell.
Saturday, October 15th at 4:18a.m. I woke up in pain. I then lost the baby. I emailed Trooper in Iraq then called my mom right away. She flew up...in her car that is...from Belton (forgetting her toothbrush and a few other personal things). Soon after getting here she took me to the ER to be checked out. My levels had dropped over 400 points in about 15 hours. I had for sure lost the baby.
The upcoming days and weeks were very hard between being in the mindset of pregnancy (looking at maternity clothes, watching your diet, and so forth), the drop in my hormone levels, and Trooper not being here to help me go through it. It was one of the hardest things to ever go through. I was SO thankful for friends that had been there before that I could lean on as well as Amy and my mom for being there for me.
I cannot believe that it has been 3 years. The baby would have been 2 years and 5 months old, but we would not have our 2 year and 1 month old, Paige! I know that is the same case for many of my friends as well. If you have ever been in a situation where you have lost a little one, I am so sorry and today we can stand together and remember! I am praying for all of us!
I know every time I sang this song in church in the weeks and months that followed, I found peace and comfort...the last stanza the most...
Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redman
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your nameBlessed
Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
3 comments:
Thanks Jami for your sweet heart and for remembering those that were never able to be here with us. I hadn't thought about our loss in a looong time....thanks for helping me to remember how thankful I am for Callie and for God's perfect plan...even though I don't always understand!
Lots of Love,
Courtney~
That was beautiful Jami!! I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine. But like you said, God has a plan for everything! I hope all is well with your family. Y'all are in our thoughts and prayers!
Oh Jami! You touched my meart in a sweet way. I love the words to that song. My friend Jana that lost her husband in May just had her baby this week and it has been tough but He is good and faithful...I think I'll send these lyrics along! Have a great weekend! Love ya!
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